Minnesota Council On Disability

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Mental Health and Holiday Inclusion

Inclusive Holidays: Mental Health for Friends and Family. Text appears against a white wooden surface with sprigs of fir, decorative snowflakes, and holiday lights on the top and bottom.Everyone is experiencing something all the time. Whether it’s the feeling of happiness, the burden of stress, the pain of grief, or the sense of excitement – we are all going through stuff. At times, these experiences may weigh on our mental health. We may begin to experience anxiety and depression, making it hard to complete everyday tasks and participate in things we usually love. Grief might make us have a hard time communicating rationally. Think about seeking therapy to work your way through the struggle. We might also begin to feel heightened burnout, stress, anxiety, or depression during the holidays. It’s important to remember that the holidays are not synonymous with positive feelings and experiences for everyone.

We might be looking back on the year and feeling overwhelmed by things we might not have accomplished or lost unexpectedly. We may be feeling nervous about attending family gatherings. Retail workers might be burned out and exhausted. Whatever the situation, our mental health could be suffering. Challenging moments may hit us harder than the good moments we’ve experienced.

It’s important to remember that this time of year is not easy for everyone. Some of us have lost loved ones on or around the holidays. We might be feeling ill or struggling with pain. Sometimes, this time of year, it is tough to get the accommodations we need to participate, and it could feel like our disabilities might be holding us back. We might be overwhelmed and stressed by the obligation of presents and food, going to gatherings, or traveling. Remember to be patient with people during the holiday season. You never know what someone is going through.

This holiday season, it’s okay to protect our mental health. It’s okay to hold ourselves close and finally say “No.” It’s alright if we don’t feel festive or are interested in the holidays – maybe we will one day. In case no one has told you, all these feeling are okay.  It’s okay to not care about the things people are celebrating. It’s okay to recognize triggers and avoid situations that may be triggering. It’s okay not to want to buy presents and cook big meals. Simply put, the most important thing is protecting ourselves and our mental health. If nobody has told you before, your feelings are valid.

Here are some mental health tips for you this holiday season:

  • Give people the benefit of the doubt. Maybe someone came across as rushed, rude, or irritable. They could be grieving, not feeling well, or are overwhelmed. Remember that behavior is influenced by many factors, including external ones.
  • Be kind and patient to others while shopping in stores. Respect and be polite to employees. Remember that retail workers encounter all sorts of people every day. They might be burned out, stressed, and feel like they are at their breaking point. More than likely, they would rather be spending time with family or friends.
  • If you feel overwhelmed, consider talking with a therapist. If you are already meeting with a therapist, be sure to keep your appointments. They are there to listen and offer advice.
  • Spend time doing things you love and enjoy the things that bring you comfort.
    • Relax by watching a movie.
    • Spend time with your friends and family.
    • Treat yourself to lunch or dinner. Do a new craft.
  • Unsubscribe from holiday emails. If holiday shopping or other holiday-related emails are triggering and stressful, unsubscribe from the emails. After the holidays, you can always subscribe again.
  • Decorate for the holidays your way. It’s okay to avoid the standard colors, decorations, and lighting. Do it the way it comforts you. There is no rule we must follow.
  • Recognize that you don’t need to do anything you don’t want to do. Say “No” to a present swap or family gathering. If it doesn’t bring you joy, protect your peace.
  • If alcohol or substances increase your mental health symptoms, talk to a therapist.
  • Confide in and talk to friends and family who are supportive. Don’t feel guilty for burdening them.
  • Participate in self-care. If you are experiencing joy, you are doing the right thing.
    • Buy yourself that gift you’ve been wanting forever.
    • Burn the candle.
    • Take a relaxing bath.
    • Watch the movie or TV show.
    • Exercise and eat healthy foods.
    • Get lots of sleep.
  • Organize your tasks and events. If you are stressed by holiday shopping, parties, and traditions, try to plan out your tasks in a manageable way.

Remember that situations and circumstances change. What might be painful right now might not be a year from now. We are constantly evolving and growing, and we should seek peace and comfort during difficult times. Protecting our peace and well-being is not selfish. There is no rule or societal standard we must follow. No one knows us better than ourselves. Take the time to heal, grow, learn, or…just be. Though we may not feel like ourselves today, we will again one day. Keep holding on.

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